Basically …

Basically – to HELL with it! Really. The internet appears to have become (perhaps it always has been?) today, right now, after half a bottle of rather nice Cabernet Sauvignon it ‘IS‘ ’57 Channels and f. all on!’
I cannot really quote that as ‘nothing’ is the original far tamer Bruce Springstein version of “f. all”.
But after half a bottle I can do whatever feels good in the moment right?
A short moment of distraction watching the 58th channel of nothing on TV and approaching a far more realistically estimated two and half glasses to go of that same said bottle…(that is probably a half glass difference for the missing irony) I’m a little drunk. Tipsy? Alcohol brings out the suppressed inside of us?
I CAN and WILL do – whatever feels good?

So exactly what is it, the thing that feels good?  Ah, yes. The point. Where am I going with this?
I’m living in a city where I know nobody except my girlfriend. Where the language is not my own and my command of the language causes me communication problems on a day to day necessities basis.  So on a real relationship with anything and anyone that goes deeper than a modern styled shallow bathroom sink? Go figure.
A little me time? An immersion in an environment that makes me feel connected and inspired. This is where I was searching the internet, reading others blogs pleases me no end. As I attempted to follow some I find the need to enrol, subscribe, join and generally fill in my own details and pretty quickly I arrive at pages that are selling the membership packages and the fancy extras that surely I cannot do without? I feel enraged that everything is linked to a money making manoeuvre.  I am turning in circles it seems and everything comes around to the same point. Money! The circle of life is definitely ever ‘decreasing’ and spiralling in on itself in an Avengers style 1960’s kaleidoscope of one single colour.

Enough wine to let out some exasperated unable to communicate feeling but too much wine to do so with any articulation. In searching for inspiration and input from a world and its larger than I society I have all too quickly reached the point where I’ve lost patience.  This resulting in a real reduction in interest in the knowledge base that offers so much as I see it quickly becoming a play land of those who can fill in their numbers. Credit card numbers.

So, this is my miffed moment. Basically.

About JJBollOX

This is an update. The slight humour aka sarcasm will be lost on anyone who hasn't read this before the update. I am, still a British male. Still living but not in Switzerland. I intend to remain, living and male. When I wrote before I had "spent the better part of two months negotiating the change in my self identity. Unemployed and sharing home with a now ex-girlfriend. I've moved. Moved on. Maybe a year has passed by. Have I moved in an upward direction? Is upward the only way to go if we are to expand, broaden and grow? Realistically, the most dramatic (not exactly decisive) direction I have taken in the time was down. Down, down and deeper than down. I fell off of a mountain. My life got complicated yet simple. This in itself is a fair summary of my personality. I have posted the first words of blogs to be written which I would like to turn into a book. 'A normal life.' Let's see how well and how fruitfully I can express my frustrations, pain, healing process and the constant changes that are life.
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6 Responses to Basically …

  1. Sue says:

    Sorry John not sure what you are saying!!!

    • JJBollOX says:

      I’m saying that basically I’m a little drunk now and a little tired and going nowhere with no inspiration and `I’m searching for some but I’m going around in circles and achieving nothing. I’ll edit the whole thing later… Now I’m doing the same, going around in circles achieving very little. How are YOU?

      • Sue says:

        I’m ok thanks. Perhaps you would have more people to kick you up the a*** in the UK to give you a little inspiration? Gaining lots of inspiration through lots of channels at the moment, suddenly many things in my life are beginning to make a little sense.

  2. JJBollOX says:

    I’m glad that you are “ok” – I hope and especially in your sudden discovery of things making (a little 😉 sense, that you are way better than ok!
    So tell me about your channels of inspiration and what it is that you are gaining from each. And why? And share an example or two – and before you know it you will also be writing a blog about bollox that maybe only you and I will read ;-))
    OX

  3. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Love this 🙂
    To hell with it indeed – I get ya!

  4. JJBollOX says:

    Thank YOU very VERY much OX

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