What’s it all about?

Alfie?

Nothing to do with Alfie at all.

This was written in March. Problems formatting it mean that I have copied, pasted and edited a little bringing it here.

This morning, like most, almost each and every, even all mornings I wanted to write.

I started a blog some time ago and courtesy of my mac spent more time arranging its’ formatting than its’ actual content.

A little like magazines really. I love magazines because their content varies. I am never stuck with a story or a style of writing that for me is not working.

If for you this is not going anywhere then about now you may turn to something else. Just like a magazine, on to the next story. Mmmm is life like that or is it just mine?

This morning: I decided to write on Facebook. It certainly has more readers than any blog you actually have to do something to find.

Consequently any writer who wants to be read should write for the growing number of freely distributed papers like Metro in the UK?
It might be harsh and a little inaccurate to imply that writers for the Guardian are well respected on the whole yet the Metro possibly has less grammar and spelling errors?  This might be influenced by the style of writing?
Anyway who gives a flying tortoise?

So is this about recognition? What is this about? If there can be a resounding theme to the things that I write it is and will be this: “It’s not about me!” really ‘it’ whatever it is is not, about me.

So this morning I wrote:

I can post stories that inspire me, make me smile, remind me of some real value in life, or pictures that do much the same.

What I’d really like to share with you are words. My words. Words that express how I see, feel; perceive. Why?
Are you reading these words? Are they having any effect on you? They aren’t actually ‘saying’ anything as yet are they?
Yet I am told by friends and relative strangers alike that I should write. That I convey my ‘written conjunctions and projections powerfully’. I take that as quite a compliment indeed. And still I’m not actually ‘saying, anything’ as yet.
How much of our spoken word says ‘something’, conveys the actual intended communication?

Ah, that in itself is another element in our communication: ‘intended’?

I’ll go as far to presume that we can extend our meandering with inaccurate direction to our lives as a whole. By we I mean you, me and neither of us but us in general, human kind in todays society.
In my words, saying something, talking about nothings, descriptive, prescriptive or somewhat non-productive: I hope to echo some of your own thoughts.  I’d like to find an accord.  A place where ‘we’ relate to one another.  For no matter how different we are we are more alike than different.  You and I?  You, I, all of us. Two legs, arms, one head if we start with the obvious.
OK there are many differences once we go beyond the surface physical impression. I hope and trust that my comparisons are not taken too literally yet that you are forced to concede that following these are countless examples that make us ‘all’ more alike than different.

Further to my ‘intentions’:

There are so many opportunities for so many tangents in these two paragraphs. ‘Todays society’? This is when my own (previously written and remaining untouched for some time) blog site  (Johnny BollOX’s http://web.me.com/jjbox. No longer available.) comes into play as I can make that a link and write about it elsewhere on the same site. That is great n all (in a Southern United States drawling accent ) but doing so means that the initial blurb does not get finished.

And? That in itself is an indication of life, no?   No, not that it exists – E.T!

We are pretty sure and almost universally agreed that it does.
Life’s meaning and values and more importantly, to the message I would like to communicate here, the questions surrounding the routes to those values and meaning; their meaning and all meaning.

Back to conveying the actual intended message. Some people I meet are fixed, compelled to get across their goal in the shortest space of time with the fewest words possible.

To my mind that is a little like driving from one city to the next by auto route, the fastest possible most direct manner.

The stream, the village pond with a willow tree hanging over it shading the swan and her cygnets, the children playing in the park, the birds singing, the sound of a game of tennis; whatever takes your attention, makes you pause and ‘feel’ alive – all of that, missed in the rush to get there directly.

Get where? The place that we are rushing to on route to the next?

 
 
 
To be continued after some time seeing things under the sun….
 
 
Having returned from my meandering ‘with purpose and direction’ under the sun. I did not observe any co existing life form.
Though, the homeless man in his early fifties with the ruby darkened skin I would attribute to a gypsy, smelling homeless and unwashed, crawling behind, pushing along in front of him his wheelchair, crawling as I say, on his knees up the hill of a pedestrianised shopping area.
Oh yes, I haven’t yet mentioned that this guy has no feet, from the shins down, lumps.
 
No matter how we might find reasons for his being I cannot but find that most of those reasons for most of us are loaded with self justification and the very fact that we cannot afford to give to the growing number begging on our streets.
If we give to one we must give to all, charity must begin at home, if I give him the money I have I’ll be there with him soon.
 
 
For me the latter feels true.
Two days ago my girlfriend decided I should leave. I have no job, I am alone in a foreign city and I am rapidly literally nearing the point where I cannot afford to take myself anywhere where I do know anybody.
During this argument that wasn’t an argument but a decision on wether my values met hers and allowed us a future together. I lost and I was leaving and it wasn’t my decision.
Yet she changed her mind and I do not know why she found value in me? And there, ‘for the grace of… go I!’
And I gave this man one swiss franc and know with certainty that she would not condone this.
 
 
On the metro (for which I paid 2 swiss francs each way, in order that I pay my way as expected by society – yet I ‘literally’cannot afford a coffee on the street) a man in his eighties carried a stick to help him walk.
He took a seat that became available just as I got on and apologised for his crossing my path.
There was no apology necessary and this wasn’t an apology of some exaggerated humility. It was a sincere and interested in every individual apology.
 
 
This man with the white white hair and flannel checked shirt that each of us need qualify by age to wear smiled, at everybody and he smiled with a sparkle in his grey blue eyes.
He joked with the young men in front of him. He joked with himself in a most interactive unassuming manner. Not a crazy removed from society manner. A relaxed love of life inspiring manner. Three consecutive sentences using manner.
 
 
This man had a certain warm and angelic manner.  (There is yet another tangent there, a film ‘It’s a Wonderful Life).
His stick was to lean on every now and then as his hips hurt he told me. Directly after offering his seat to a lady who got on.
The lady refused and she acknowledged my point when I said to her that this was a ‘mark of an age gone by’, that the young would generally not offer so.
Society strives for equality and the once under represented female elements can now demand so much inequality that I too am unlikely to offer my seat to this lady should I be sitting.
 
 
I spoke with this man for a few moments and just had time before arriving at my stop to thank him for his smile which (as I told him) I see as a great gift to the world that he shares it with.
He touched my heart and should and made my day a better one.
 
 
Some things under the sun. There are, of course, many things under the sun that rise(s) and set(s) each day.  Some are the things that live extraordinary lives alongside our own yet we barely interact with. Those that I think of are positive and idealistic, romantic even fantastic. Others are simply not:
 

 

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About JJBollOX

This is an update. The slight humour aka sarcasm will be lost on anyone who hasn't read this before the update. I am, still a British male. Still living but not in Switzerland. I intend to remain, living and male. When I wrote before I had "spent the better part of two months negotiating the change in my self identity. Unemployed and sharing home with a now ex-girlfriend. I've moved. Moved on. Maybe a year has passed by. Have I moved in an upward direction? Is upward the only way to go if we are to expand, broaden and grow? Realistically, the most dramatic (not exactly decisive) direction I have taken in the time was down. Down, down and deeper than down. I fell off of a mountain. My life got complicated yet simple. This in itself is a fair summary of my personality. I have posted the first words of blogs to be written which I would like to turn into a book. 'A normal life.' Let's see how well and how fruitfully I can express my frustrations, pain, healing process and the constant changes that are life.
This entry was posted in angel/ic, argument, balance, beauty, blog, blurb, charity, communicate/communication, Communication, content, decision, direction, driving, express/expression/expressiveness, extraordinary, Face Book, format/formatting, gypsy, homeless, humility, idealist, Individual, Judgement, justification/justify, magazine(s), meandering, meaning, money, need/needs, problems, purpose, random, reason/reasons, recognition, smile, Society, un/washed, Value(s), words, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to What’s it all about?

  1. Raven says:

    I wish to hear more about the man.. what you think his story is? Why is he so content and at peace and not a deranged lunatic beating up youngsters with his cane? What life did he have that made him so happy? you are a lucky person to have met him I think.

    Your posts often make me think, ponder things but they always touch me. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  2. JJBollOX says:

    I too wish that I had stayed and learnt more about the man. I was lucky. I am lucky in your reading and your lovely comment. In that you think and ponder because of me, in this I am rewarded as richly as can be. That you are touched gives me reason beyond! Thank YOU for sharing. “goede weg” with the Fairies and boxes and Pixies and predicaments and and .. 🙂

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  5. Alfie, such a way to begin. As you refer to it, so many thoughts tumble thru my mind. I actually find myself shuddering when I think of Alfie and his utter cruelty. I can’t remember all the details of the film, but I can remember my reaction of disgust which increased to absolute abhorrence. We spoke of Kant recently, who I admire. In discussing morality, one of his major concepts is humanity as an end to itself, in other words people are not a means to an end, they are an end unto themselves. When I first read this, it resonated with me so strongly, in many ways because it put into words a feeling I had in my awareness of people, both in the ways I had observed people acting towards one another, which in many ways was in direct contradiction to the ways I strive to act towards people. I had one of those light going on over my head moments. Is this the difference? Is this what it is that bothers me so much? Is this what baffles me? Is it really something this simply said and yet so complex in application at the same time? YES. How much suffering could be averted if we stopped thinking of people as a means to an end? So, go ahead and give the homeless a bit of money if you can. But more importantly, see them, do not let them become invisible. Who are the people in your neighbourhood? Mr. Rogers asked all us children. He sang it out. Are the homeless not to be included in those people in your neighbourhood? Because to me, they are a absolutely a part of my neighbourhood. And when I pass them on the street, I offer them a smile, a nod, a conversation, and sometimes, when I can money. Sometimes there are high fives, a shaking of hands, even hugs. And in those moments of human connection, they are visible, acknowledged, and it means something, means more than those averting their eyes & dropping spare change into the cup. And maybe I am old fashioned, if someone holds a door open for me I thank them, and I hold doors open for people all the time. It is seldom that I sit on the T or the bus. I prefer to stand and hold the rail. But if I am sitting, yes, I am aware of the people around me. And I will offer my seat to the elderly, to someone struggling with packages, to a pregnant woman, to anyone with children. And there is a part of me that is shocked that others do not offer up their seats to those in need. And I do think that most of the time, people just aren’t paying attention, or at least that is my hope. Later~xx

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