The hyphen is important. These words do not belong together. All advertising is good advertising? If somebody is talking about us at least we are interesting enough to be talked about?
There is written somewhere by someone – possibly most things to most subjects. That which I search now is a little maxim bridging the vast void between wisdom and gossip. It runs something like:
Those who speak about things, Those who speak about others.. Ah Google (and in fairness most search engines: THE Internet :-))
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss other people.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
I found this on a rather nice, well written and presented page, ‘Carpe Diem‘ This post and the little I have read of this lady reflects a lot of my own meanings albeit differently. That is a good thing. That there are people and ideas that resemble, give value to, even go as far as justify our own allows us the inner knowledge that we are not alone among seven billion others.
Yet as we seem to be coming a more spiritually influenced animal, I read a constant theme, refer to the self. Ourselves – The individual.
We are advised; no scrap that as apparently most advice offered is bad. Somehow, we have become more aware . . . that we need to feel good about and believe in our individual being. We must accept, yet develop (isn’t that change?) ourselves. Love ourselves in order that we can truly love others. Love others as we would be loved ourselves. The paradigms and paradoxes are endless. Seven billion permutations?
I do not wish to give the impression that I disagree, quite the contrary. There are so many questions to be asked aren’t there? Do you find that asking questions is far more helpful, far more giving, far more empowering than making statements?
Is it all about justifying ourselves? Where is the balance between justification and acceptance? I often hear or read of the root of individuals problems being laid at the feet of the persons parents. I have my problems as we all do. My parents did the best that they could, given their knowledge, resources and each and every circumstance. OK they may well have got some things wrong. I have personally made some right royal fuck ups. The odds are I’ll make some more depending on how far away that day when I die is. So our fathers, mothers, forefathers.. Is it all their fault?
(Don’t let me get started on the illuminati – that’s a way bigger badder subject!)
Is all talk about others gossip? Of course not. I seriously hope not. These two statements do not align or overlap exactly do they and you may sense a little uncertainty. I am certain of very little. One day I will die. I can quote many to support the more I know, the more I know that the less I know philosophy.
Should we learn to understand our why’s and therefore’s, what’s and wherefore’s? Accept it all and move on with our own ‘individual’ responsibility for our own and everyone’s happiness? Is there a balance? Yes.
So, one of my (many) in draft posts – the one that I hope to actually post this weekend. Hope? Intend. Will post this weekend.
The choice of words and their effects on the outcome is, as everything – a whole other tangent.
The post: talks about a friend. It’s not gossip. Though it shares some personal detail it is written in recognition of (an)others. The finite details seemingly not so apposite to our own lives make all of us intrinsically very different whilst still, much more alike. In true empathy we do not see things as a reflection of ourselves, or experience that we have necessarily shared in order that we can understand. It is through our having experience both comparable and incomparable that we become more open and accepting of all.
So what about gossip? Yep so what. Let people talk. It’s a shame that we do it so badly. Let us not only talk, let’s communicate effectively. Let us describe our ideas for better worlds.
How is (y)our ideal world? How good do you feel telling others about it?
(Miss an o out of that feeling and we could become truly exalted ;-))
Me? I feel good about me (with two o’s). I am confident that I am a good person. Kind for sure, considerate, caring, positive – mostly. Objective, honest, sufficiently diplomatic – most of the time. I am, I believe, painfully aware. Does this empower me? No. That does cost.
I do not mean to make any attempt to paint myself as some angel of virtue. No. I lack direction and am easily distracted. When I can afford to feel empowered and do for others as I wish for the world I am often self-indulgent and lured by the toys and trappings offered under shining lights.
Sometimes, too often I am deficient of sufficient motivation (crap English but I like the ring to it ;-)) to do the things referred to myself by my better self. Personally I know (as I know a ‘couple’ of things) that I need a friendly push or five (otherwise known as support, involvement, feedback…) to actually get up and get going and get doing those things to be done.