I’m in a bar. Les Brasseurs. But it’s a real bar, with home brewed beer on tap and I’m having a 23 Swiss franc (CHF) hamburger. And an 8 CHF beer. I mention it as I cannot afford it and this makes it, all the more valuable? A fair analogy of life.
I’m the only one here; alone. That feels relevant, to me. I’ve just spent an hour with my psychologist in which she asked if I thought that I was the only person who viewed life as I do. My response was a categorical no and continued that I felt an increasing amount of the world sharing similar overall views.
I guarded this with the bracketed observation: in a similar way to buying a car, if I buy a Toyota, something or other? A something or other that I have never heard of, never seen before (I buy it because it’s a good deal, for all the right reasons.. more brackets..) After doing so and almost immediately I see this particular model ‘everywhere’, the whole world has started driving the Toyota something or other? I explained my rational behind this analogy. After all she is a psychologist and I’m sure that you have worked it out for yourself.
So back to Les Brasseurs, alone amongst many. Primarily students with yards of beer reaching up to the sky (though being cut off on route by the ceiling). Their eagerness, their vitality lends an energy to the ambience and gives reason or excuse to my interest in their interest in life.
I came here for time out. I share a flat. No I don’t, who am I kidding? I have a room in the flat of an old friend of mine. We have never been that close as such but I’ve known her on and off for twenty six years! That qualifies an exclamation mark as it is a proper long time in the rapidly changing face of our world. So why time out? We, most of us – at least those driving that Toyota – need time to ourselves. I need quite a lot. To put my thoughts in place, where? On this paper. At chez elle it is hard at times to get that. She is a single mother of two. A nine year old boy and a two year old girl. The two year old is my shadow. It is a great compliment. I adore her too but.. Her mother likes to say, ‘well you have to establish your boundaries, I can’t be chasing after her..’ Like right? Yes you fucking can. YOU are her mother. Harsh? She is taking the piss. Then she’ll ask me if, just maybe I can look after her for a couple of hours.. It’s not that often that I’m asked but amidst the constant attention demands from the young girl, it feels like it. People, the most important interaction on our planet, children, the most important consideration of this planets future. The most significant measure of our past when we are gone. (This is incomplete and like all thoughts can easily be another post in itself). People yes, piss me off at times! Harsh?
OK. Now that is off my chest, I came to type up something of the growing, metamorphosing amount of ‘notes’