She just arrived

She just arrived. A peck. Not a kiss. But a peck on the lips at least. “You have drunk alcohol. You’ve drunk all the day.”

It’s not a question.

‘Ah, oui. Merci’ I respond. ‘C’est pas de..’ she walks away and I return to our bedroom/office, type these lines: start a response to her criticism and; well, let it slide into the sand pit of nonchalance, annoyance and just general being.

And now she’s sitting on the balcony. The sun is shining at 17:30: blue skies dotted with greyed out tinges to white billowing pillow like clouds.

And she is talking, to the other woman. Re-counting tales of woe of the day that was. Of interaction. fraction, distraction between herself and other members of her team. “Mais ecoute ..” – but listen.. and now, from back inside our closed bedroom/office domain, I cannot hear what she is saying but her voice is raised. `I do not think much about what she is saying. I think more about why she doesn’t, hasn’t, willn’t – a new word for will not/wishes not to, share it with me.

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About JJBollOX

This is an update. The slight humour aka sarcasm will be lost on anyone who hasn't read this before the update. I am, still a British male. Still living but not in Switzerland. I intend to remain, living and male. When I wrote before I had "spent the better part of two months negotiating the change in my self identity. Unemployed and sharing home with a now ex-girlfriend. I've moved. Moved on. Maybe a year has passed by. Have I moved in an upward direction? Is upward the only way to go if we are to expand, broaden and grow? Realistically, the most dramatic (not exactly decisive) direction I have taken in the time was down. Down, down and deeper than down. I fell off of a mountain. My life got complicated yet simple. This in itself is a fair summary of my personality. I have posted the first words of blogs to be written which I would like to turn into a book. 'A normal life.' Let's see how well and how fruitfully I can express my frustrations, pain, healing process and the constant changes that are life.
Aside | This entry was posted in Communication, life, random, relationship. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to She just arrived

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    I pictured this well by your words. Even ‘that wasn’t a question’.

    This is painful. Willn’t … I would wonder too. I would wonder achingly.

    • JJBollOX says:

      Thank you very much 🙂 There is a whole lot more to this excerpt of a long somewhat painful, somewhat lost in that sandpit of nonchalance story that I should write. Not for the healing but for the comedy of life before it is lost. Soon I hope, “… if I were not so self-indulgent, attending to my-life-(only not so)-in-my-face over the last few (years?) days.” They seem to mingle..merge..

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